


If it weren't for you, I might probably go

by Robopou



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Confession, First Kiss, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-05
Updated: 2015-07-05
Packaged: 2018-04-07 15:53:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4269249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robopou/pseuds/Robopou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa overworks himself as usual and thinks about things. When his best friend, Iwaizumi Hajime, comes to scold him, he realizes how drained Oikawa is and they leave the gym, so he can take care of him. Things lead to deep thoughts, important talks and mutual small confessions of love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If it weren't for you, I might probably go

A week before the match between the volleyball teams of Aobajohsai High and Shiratorizawa Academy, Iwaizumi and Oikawa discuss which one of the two best friends’ houses they should stay at after the oncoming game. They would either celebrate their victory by watching movies and having fun or they’d end up talking about their loss while Iwaizumi gives his best to comfort and take care his best friend who’d usually remain at the gym for a longer period of time to overwork himself in a punishing matter to the point of fainting.

After the usual volleyball practice and a little delay because of Oikawa’s whole-hearted determination to win they enter the locker room to come to a decision regarding their plans.

“I guess we can stay over at mine,” Iwaizumi starts while taking a sip from his water bottle, “my parents won’t be home anyways, so we wouldn’t get bothered while hanging out together.”

“Iwa-chan, why do we need to be alone? Or do you have any mischievous plans that I haven’t heard of, you perv!” Oikawa says while letting out his typical sneaky giggle. Much to his dislike Iwaizumi gives him a punch to his side and turns his back to him while the brown haired guy takes a step back to avoid any further kicks and punches that would come his way if he likewisely continued to be himself while facing Iwaizumi.

“It’s not as if I had any second thoughts, especially not with you, Assikawa!” Iwaizumi growled as he crossed his arms in front of his chest in irritation. 

“Ahh, you’re so mean, Iwa-chan! You just have to admit that I’m actually gorgeous!” the setter pouted in sheer disappointment as he eyed the back of his best friend waiting for a positive response.

Remaining in his position yet turning his head to side eye Oikawa, who was now fluttering his ridiciulously long eye lashes, he had to admit to himself that his best friend was in fact a very gorgeous human being with his long lashes, his beautiful big brown eyes and his vigorously bright smile that would sometimes lead to Iwaizumi cracking a grin by himself. He was maybe the most gorgeous person to him.

Staying calm and giving Oikawa a judgemental glance, he finally speaks up, “If you think that was gorgeous, I am truly sorry for you,” he shamelessly lies to him and himself while continuing, “It would also be better if we made this at mine because you’d end up dead in the gym because of refusing to listen to me and making me wait. It would be of advantage for the both of us if you just came to over to mine,  _alive_.”

“Iwa-chan, it’s so cute how much you care about me!” Oikawa smiled while hugging Iwaizumi from behind. For a short amount of time Iwaizumi just gave in to Oikawa and let himself be hugged by his best friend. How long has it been since they hugged? The genuine hugs all happened during their childhood. They would usually hold hands and even kiss each other sloppily on their cheeks and foreheads. But it’s not as if their bonds were broken. Iwaizumi still cares about him and listens to all of his problems, he makes sure Oikawa doesn’t wrench himself to the point of destruction. He takes care of him and is always there for him. Oikawa cares about his best friend, too. He’s just a bit too arrogant to begin with and it’s often him that is the one that is being saved.

Somehow the hug doesn’t feel as playful as Iwaizumi thought it was meant to be. Oikawa was actually leaning in to the hug and pressed his forehead against the back of his friend’s shoulder, holding him tight at the waist. It felt like one of the times when they would lose against Shiratorizawa in junior high and Oikawa just had to be held close by someone. Someone that is very important to him.

The black haired ace just let out a sigh before becoming tense again. It was just too nostalgic.

“Now let go of me.” he interrupted their affectionate touch as he unclamped out of the other’s embrace.  “I want to take a shower before I start growing mold because of you, Shittykawa.” he added harshly.

“Why so mean, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa whined, raising his hands over his head to show that he did nothing wrong after letting go of his best friend who was looking for a towel in his gym bag afterwards. Realizing that he’s being ignored, Oikawa returns to his own business and takes off his shirt, revealing toned abs that quickly caught Iwaizumi’s attention.

Much to his own astonishment he couldn’t help but take a glimpse or two at Oikawa’s attractiveness. Maybe it were even three. It wasn’t just Oikawa’s nice face but also his body that made him into the embodiment of human beauty. He hoped he didn’t stare that much.

Oikawa, who noticed his best friend’s a bit too obvious glances, decided to keep this thing to himself to avoid any likely hits and punches that would probably be directed straight to his face this time. A scarred Oikawa would be of everyone’s dislike. 

The brown haired setter then slipped out of the rest of his clothing and draped a towel around himself to enter the shower room. Iwaizumi reacted by staring at his best friend’s broad back, eyes focused on his magnificent physique. Turning his head back to face a flustered Iwaizumi, he added a last statement that pulled the ace out of his thoughts. “Make sure to buy enough milk bread, Iwa-chan~!” He smiled while tilting his head and shutting his eyes in a manner to look cute.

“Sure…” Iwaizumi mumbled while watching Oikawa go.

He tried to collect himself when he was standing in the locker room all by himself with his hands pressed against his face. “No, you can’t just fall in love with him…” he huffed under his breath in realization of his attraction to his best friend. He always liked him, maybe even more than his fangirls but he never liked to admit it to himself. Not only was it too weird but the fact that his feelings weren’t reciprocated was too painful.

A few moments later he took a shower as well and tried to to stop thinking about Oikawa for once.

* * *

 

The week passed as usual with Oikawa constantly trying to push himself further and reaching his limits after overdoing himself. If he continued this unhealthy behaviour he would end up seriously sick afterwards and the regret of not being able to play volleyball anymore would be so much more severe than losing a single match to his long time rival.

“Oikawa,” Iwaizumi spoke up to his best friend who was huffing out heavy breathes while kneeling on the gym floor, keeping his face down from exhaustion, “if you continue this you won’t be able to play volleyball anymore…”

Oikawa didn’t answer because of not being able to speak while he was barely getting enough oxygen, so he just gave him a look that was too painful to even process. He just continued sitting there, drenched in sweat feeling pain in his joints and muscles, empty eyed and bathing in self loathe. The match was on the next day and Oikawa could barely stand after his excessive amount of excersize. Not being able to just uselessly watch, Iwaizumi stepped closer to his best friend and sat down next to him. Oikawa’s back was arched and he just readjusted himself to pull his legs closer to his body and rested his head on his knees in shame.

“Iwa-chan…” he stammered out followed by short breaths, “why do I always lose to him?”

Not knowing what to respond to such a question, Iwaizumi just began patting his back in a comforting manner and the short breaths were then accompanied by poorly forced back little sobs. How pitiful he must look, Oikawa thought to himself.

“Oikawa, let’s just go already.” The ace spoke after taking a deep breath. He knew if they lost, Oikawa would probably work himself to death and wouldn’t be in a mood to stop. This reminds him of that time in middle school he head to drag an exhausted and crying Oikawa out of the gym. He didn’t scold him afterwards, he already had enough punishment.

Iwaizumi stood up and held his hand down to help his friend who slowly raised his own to get a grip of the other’s while he was rubbing at his eyes with the other one.

“Thanks, Iwa-chan…” Oikawa mumbled as he kept looking down not being able to look into anyone’s face at the moment.

Iwaizumi gave Oikawa’s hand a little squeeze before letting go of it and rested his hand on his shoulder. He then cupped his chin with the other one, lifting his head up a little to look into his eyes that looked different than usual. He then opened his mouth to say something, “Don’t mention it. You’re my best friend after all, I’ll be always here for you.”

After hearing these comforting words, even Oikawa’s expression softened a bit and he laid his forehead on Iwaizumi’s shoulder, tugging at his shirt.

“I’ll show him that I’ll crush him and his team,” he finally looked up to Hajime and smiled.

* * *

The next day, Saturday, was the final day. After losing the first set with 22 points to 25 they lost the second one with only one point more. Oikawa was standing there in utter disbelief, such a bone wrenching week and yet he lost. He lost with such a little difference in points, yet enough to leave a severe impact, he lost again. It has always been the same person that was killing his spirit, Ushijima Wakatoshi. After everyone left, Ushijima, that damn bastard, gave him one last look “You should have come to Shiratorizawa.” Only his best friend was at his side.

“Oikawa, let’s go.” Hajime said tugging at his sleeve.

“Iwa-chan, just give me a bit of time. I’ll come, I promise.”

“You always say that you’ll come, but you never do it by yourself in the end… I always have to drag you out.”

“This time I will, I promise.” he lies.

Iwaizumi leaves out a sigh and agrees. “Fine, I’ll take a shower and then get some groceries.”

“Don’t forget the milk bread.” Oikawa reminds him and Iwaizumi just shoots him a soft smile.

“I won’t… and Oikawa.”

“What is it, Iwa-chan?” he responds in a low voice.

“Please, don’t overdo it this time.”

“I won’t.” he lies again

Eyes still attached to Tooru’s figure he walks towards the locker room. After taking a shower and getting dressed, Iwaizumi leaves the building and goes to the next super market. He buys a few pieces of milk bread, some vegetables and pop corn, just in case they do decide to watch a few movies in the evening, even though it seems a bit too unrealistic regarding Oikawa’s current mood.

* * *

After arriving at home, he lays the groceries on the kitchen counter and sends Oikawa a text.

“Where are you, Shittykawa?!”

Annoyed he puts his phone back into the pocket of his jeans and starts cooking. Rice, vegetables and a bit of miso soup. While being in the middle of cooking, he decides to call Oikawa and is forced to speak to the mailbox instead, much to his irritation, he just ends the call and returns to cooking.

He leaves out a sigh while stirring the vegetables and just brushes his hair back feeling stressed.

After being done he turns the stove off and looks out of the window, realizing that the sky is darkening and that it might rain sooner or later, he calls him one more time and is still being ignored.

“Damn, Oikawa, you owe me…” he murmurs as he walks to the front door, slipping into his shoes and grabs his jacket. When he closes the door behind him he starts jogging to their high school. Much to his dismay it starts to rain, he should have taken an umbrella with himself, he thinks.

When he arrives at the building he quickens his pace to enter the gym. It’s already 7pm and it’s been three hours since the end of their match.

When he walks in, he spots Oikawa on his knees, back hunched, resting on his hands, hair hanging into his face being damp.

Taking quick steps forwards his voice rises when he tries to speak up but getting no reaction from the setter he just squats down next to him. 

His breathing is unsteady, he’s shaking and his voice is too low to be understood. 

Iwaizumi slips out of his jacket and drapes it over Oikawa’s hunched back.

“You said you forgot your jacket in excitement today, right? It’s raining. Let’s go already…”

Helping him stand up he pulls at his hand just to reveal if he can properly stand. 

“Iwa-chan.”

“What is it?”

“My knee hurts.”

‘I told you not to overdo yourself.” Iwaizumu thinks but refuses to say out of sympathy. Letting out a sigh, he supports him and speaks up again.

“They’re already closing the gym, you can just shower at mine and later we’ll see what we can do about your knee.”

“Okay,” he responds in hoarse voice, knees trembling.

Helping Oikawa with the bag and then leaving to see that the rain worsened over time, Iwaizumi just holds Oikawa’s hand and tugs him with him.

A few moments later, being halfway there, Oikawa just stops standing there in the rain. He stands there, still and empty eyed.

“Oikawa...”

“I’ll never be good enough, will I?”

“Don’t say these senseless things, ShittyKawa!” Hajime scowls in anger as he tries to pull Oikawa along. 

“But it’s true.”

“No, it’s not. Stop saying these things, that’s not like you!”

“Not like me? Apparently, losing is like me.”

Shocked at his best friend’s words he can’t bring out a good response, yet his voice and expression soften and he gives him a caring look.

“Oikawa, let’s go home.”

* * *

 

They arrive at Iwaizumi’s appartment where the latter changes into a new shirt after taking off the one that was soaked from the rain. He then returns to Oikawa, helping him with sitting down without bending his knee too much and then he runs him a bath. He returns to the kitchen and cooks some tea before he goes back into the living room.

“Tea?” Iwaizumi asks in a sympathetic tone, eyes focused on Oikawa’s face. His eyes were covered by his bangs, yet the dark circles beneath his eyes were clearly visible.

“No, thank you.” He says and lets out a small sigh, eyes travelling down after such a tiresome week.

“Your bath is almost ready, come with me.”

Oikawa discards his clothes and sinks into the bath tub, head resting on the border. He slips a little and his head gives off a loud thump when it hits the bottom of the tub. 

The loud noise startles Iwaizumi which leads to him bursting in. A calm Oikawa is now lying in the bath tub, head underwater, remaining calm. 

In shock Hajime pulls his head out by tugging at his shoulders which leads to Oikawa coughing out a good amount of water. 

“I was trying to sleep!”

“In a bath tub? Don’t be ridiculous!” Hajime yells in disbelief. “What were you trying to do?”

“I said I was sleeping.”

“You can sleep later! And you also have to eat after getting out, so you can take medication for you knee…”

“I don’t want to eat…”

“Not even milk bread?”

“Nope.”

Iwaizumi lets out another sigh and then looks down at the pouting Oikawa that was laying in his bath tub.

“You know, you’re supposed to wash yourself.”

“I know.”

“Then do already.”

Not reacting to his best friend’s words the latter just tells him to sit upright.

“Why?”

“I’ll wash your back, sit up already…” Iwaizumi mumbles when he reaches for the washing cloth.

When they were small, things like these were considered normal. They used to bathe together a lot, there should be no reason that would make it different by now. But it was different. Iwaizumi likes him. He really likes him.

He just grabbed a washing cloth and began rubbing his friend’s back and shoulders. He stopped inbetween to shampoo his hair, carefully, so he wouldn’t get some of it into his eye. He then returned to rubbing the washing cloth over his shoulders but stopped when he reached his chest and front. A bit flustered he just threw the cloth in Oikawa’s face who then tugged at it to remove the wet fabric from his face.

“What was that Iwa-chan?!”

“You can manage the rest on your own.” Iwaizumi spat and left the bathroom. He leaned against the door after closing it shut and rubbed at his face.

“Why do you always have to behave like that... what if he already knows that you like him… he always can read people, this would be completely realistic…” he thinks to himself. It hurts that he isn’t the one for Oikawa. He’s not as a good as Ushijima and will not achieve the same things as him. He won’t be enough for Oikawa.

Oikawa was sitting there calmly after washing himself and ending Iwaizumi’s work. Instead of leaving the tub he remained in his position and leaned back for a while. He started thinking, inhaling with his nose, exhaling with his mouth. The bubbles seemed funny to look at yet he was in no mood to have fun.

“All my life you have been there for me, Iwa-chan. You always took care of me without asking for something in return. Most of it was on your own behalf and not for the team... Would it be weird if I said I liked you?” He brushes the strains of hair that were covering his sight away and slowly stands up. Not bothering to look at the mirror, he pulls at the clog of the bath tub and leaves the room to encounter a waiting Iwaizumi.

“I laid some clothes ready for you... we can start eating after you changed and then I’ll take care of your knee.”

“I told you I didn’t want to...” he murmurs and goes into Iwaizumi’s room. A moment before entering Iwaizumi takes hold of Oikawa’s wrist.

“We need to talk.”

Oikawa responds with a small nod and goes changing into new clothes, Iwaizumi knocks after hesitating, “Can I come in now?”

“Yeah.” The respond comes quickly.

Both stand there, not saying anything for a while until Hajime takes a deep breath. And holds his hand, pulling him next to himself on the bed. Oikawa doesn’t speak but remains calm when Iwaizumi lays his arm around him. They adjust themselves and Tooru ends up laying in front of Iwaizumi, back of his head rested against his stomach and arms draped over each thigh, both remain silent and just stay like this. Iwaizumi finally speaks up.

“Oikawa, can I ask you something?”

“Of course, Iwa-chan.”

He doesn’t bother to correct him and shuffles to his question. “After all those years you’ve almost destroyed yourself. You would always overwork yourself, not stopping when you’d reach your limits. Don’t you regret refusing to attend Shiratorizawa? You could have achieved so much more and you wouldn’t be in such a depressing state after every tournament.”

“Not at all.” Oikawa says, much to his best friend’s surprise. “At Aobajohsai there are people that care about me. People that take care of me. I wouldn’t have such a thing at Shiratorizawa.”

Iwaizumi just looks at him. “How are you so sure?”

“It’s been years we played against Ushiwaka. Regarding his position as a captain you can say that he doesn’t get the best out of his team. They aren’t bad, not at all, yet he seems like he doesn’t treat them like I’d do. I’m not trying to brag or anything but it’s obvious that I can organize our team to a point of equality where everyone is doing his best. For them I’d just be the one that makes them better, so Ushiwaka has equal teammates. He is already one of the best, yet he can’t win with a bad team. It’s all about winning in the end, I know. Even I intend to win every match but a thing I’d lack there as well would be my pride. It’s not very noble to leave your loved ones to jump over to the rival team. Especially the one person that you would like to crush and not support.” 

‘Loved ones...’ Iwaizumi says under his breath, voice low yet loud enough for Oikawa to understand.

He finally looks up at Iwaizumi, eyes dark yet a little more vivid than before.

“Yes. At Shiratorizawa I wouldn’t have the people that mean as mucht to me. I’d lose the one that is the most precious to me... Thanks for always being there for me, Iwa-chan.”

‘The most precious to me...’ Iwaizumi repeats in his head, a look of disbelief is on his face.

Oikawa smiles up at him, “Iwa-chan, I really like you.” He then lifts his head up slowly and closes his eyes, not waiting for Iwaizumi’s response. A bit flustered Iwaizumi closes his eyes and leans in closer to Oikawa. Their lips touch, it’s a chaste kiss. But it’s enough for the moment. When they pull away they open their eyes slowly, just gazing into each other’s eyes.

“I like you, too.” Haijme whispers and plants a second kiss against Tooru’s forehead. 

“Iwa-chan.”

“What is it?”

“I’m tired.”

“But your knee.”

“It would be easier if the both of us just got some sleep.” Tooru whispers and leans in to Hajime.

Iwaizumi pulls him closer and they fall asleep next to each other. Oikawa just lies in Iwaizumi’s arms.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe someone actually read this shit. However, you can follow me on tumblr (robopou.tumblr.com)and I'd happily follow some more Haikyuu!! blogs.
> 
> My next fic will be UshiOi I think, until then I don't intend on writing something else.


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